English,Such a Funny Language

I came across these quotes one day and I found them quite amusing.

• "It's a strange language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water".
• "If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shotage of flowers".
• If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
• Its funny how ‘A Slim Chance’ and ‘A Fat Chance’ are the same.
• We are a strange lot to have noses that run and feet that smell.
• If people from Poland are called “Poles,” why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes?

After looking at all of these, it really makes me think about English. Why do have so many different terms that mean the same thing? Why do we set so many rules for the English Language, like the 'Subject-Verb Agreement' and the 'Direct/Indirect Speech' when the English language itself is so versatile, with new rules and changes being implemented frequently? It is wonderful yet queer. It is almost like brackish water in that vast sea of different languages. It is just so funny. Comment.